Gay Marriage

On May 15, 2008 California's Supreme Court overruled a ban on gay marriage.

What the heck took us so long?

We'll review the ruling shortly but we just wanted to say it is about time we legalized gay marriage. Equality for all means equality for all.

No real reason for this post other than I like this song!

Discovery Hell

I am a youngish associate. At my firm, that means you get all the court appearances (score!) and draft all the discovery responses (ugh).

Last week I was in discovery hell. I had 16 sets of discovery to which I had to respond. While I typically don't mind responding to discovery, these sets were particularly bad. You see, for the past several months I've been branching off and taking on cases in fields of law other than my norm. For some reason or another, the Plaintiffs' attorneys in these types of cases are absolute morons. They ask questions that just beg for me to object.

Here is a prime example:
"List all documents that support any and all of your affirmative defenses."
My dream response?:
"Objection. You're a moron. I can't believe someone actually gave you a law degree, and worse yet, I can't believe you passed the same bar as reputable attorneys in this state. Further objection is made on the grounds that your grammar and logic are completely absent from this discovery request. Without waiving the foregoing objections, Responding Party replies: the Magna Carta, the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, all case law in the history of the United States and England...."

I mean seriously, could the attorney not draft a better request?

What was I supposed to do?

I finally gave up making fun of him (except for in this blog) and just helped him as the question he couldn't ask:
"Objection. This request is overbroad, unduly burdensome, vague and ambiguous, seeks privileged information, seeks information not reasonably calculated to lead to the discovery of admissible evidence, is improper in that it violates Court Rule 3.12, the term "you" is not defined. Without waiving the foregoing objections, Responding Party replies: Without further clarification Responding Party is unable to fully respond, however, assuming Requesting Party was requesting all relevant factual documents supporting Responding Party's affirmative defenses that are in Responding Party's possession, Responding Party replies: Contract dated September 2, 1999; Confirmation Bates Stamped BA0002398, etc...."

Ok, I am typing this post and am not publishing my exact words (hopefully Plaintiff's counsel doesn't stumble on this post and put two and two together), but you get the point.

By the end of the week, and after having spent most of the week responding to such nonsense, I looked a little like a crazed teddy bear.

American Idol Baby

We own a Wii and we have a standing rule that if you come to our pad, you are required to play. The game is up to the participant, but we have a nice selection. This weekend we hosted my siblings, enticing them with American Idol. We love the game because it judges you on pitch/tone, and NOT the accuracy of the words. Hence as long as you get the sound right, you can make up your own lyrics. Any diss on Paula is a plus in our book.

We greeted our guests with some drinks (come on, we are still attorneys).







Then we displayed my best investment in weeks.







We then moved on to our American Idol competition.





Jared was the first eliminated. Then Tiffany was out. It was down between Devron and Richard, but in the end, Devron's master skills paid out and he was declared the next American Idol!!!

To celebrate, we went to see Ironman and hang out at the Spectrum, where Jared declared his love for a new drink- a rum and tonic. GROSSSS!

Forced Vacations

Here is a recap of a conversation last night:

Attorney 1: Well, I took a job and gave my notice today.

Me: Wow. What did your boss say?

Attorney 1: He told me to pack my belongings and get out.


It seems inevitable that when a young attorney gives notice at a firm the firm just tells that attorney to finish the day and take a hike. No two week notice required. I know this has happened to several of my friends, and in fact happened to me as well.

This creates an interesting situation. On the one hand, the office manager/partner is telling the young associate that the associate's work is worthless and he or she is dispensable at any given moment. While that may true, it also creates a sense of unease for the associates who remain at the firm. Inevitably they will ask themselves whether they too are valueless. Insecurity and lawyers just don't mix.

On the other hand, the smart fired/quitting associates will see this as what it is- an opportunity to truly take a break from lawyering. If you go on vacation while still employed, somewhere in the back of your brain are lingering thoughts of billable hours, letters that have to go out, pending motions, and trial prep. If, however, you go on vacation while unemployed, theoretically you won't have any of those thoughts. This a unique opportunity and one that should be seized!

In the end my response to Attorney 1 was At least you can take a nice vacation before you start your next job.


As an aside, when I got my forced vacation, I went to the pictured location. It was AWESOME.

Scoreboard

Whether litigators want to admit it or not, they keep score when arguing motions. I, being a litigator, am no exception. Typically keeping score is an easy thing- win MSJ, you get a point, lose an MSJ, you get a negative point. But on Monday a Judge's ruling really stumped me.

It was a demurrer (a legal "so what"). Plaintiff's attorney had brought a cause of action for, amongst other things, punitive damages. My response? Punitive damages is a a remedy, not a cause of action, but nice try.

The Court agreed, and sustained my demurrer without leave to amend. Score one, right? Well, not quite. You see, the Judge was adamant that while he would sustain the demurrer without leave to amend, he was doing so without prejudice. Ok, so Plaintiff can't fix the pleading error, but we aren't the prevailing party?

I know, I know, who cares? In the end I still won, right? Well, that's all fine and good, but what the hell do I write down on my scorecard? Is this an "RBI" type of situation?

I decided to mark it as a half a point. But I am seriously toying with the idea of crossing that out and putting a plus one.

Lessons From Law School

As lawyers, alcohol is second nature. However, after x-many years we've grown tired of the typical Bombay and Tonic with extra lime. With that in mind, we used part of house down payment savings to seriously bulk up our liquor cabinet this weekend.

We purchased an obligatory bartenders book. However, being the way we are, we didn't settle for one that just lists the drinks and recipes, instead, we opted for the book that contains a little history for most of the drinks.

With our new book, located second-on-the-shelf (more on that in another post), we headed to BevMo. We picked up a hand cart, filled it, then decided we needed a full blown pushing cart, which, I might add, we filled. The guy ringing us up looked a little scared at the amount of alcohol, especially when he rang up the Creme de Banana, which he explained he had never even heard of.

We went home, ordered a pizza (absorption), and began our full fledged expedition into new alcohol drinks.

I can't recall all the drinks (I think there were about 10), although I remember laughing when Jared proclaimed his love for a blue-eyed blonde (I have green eyes you punk). Seriously, a blue-eyed blonde is a shot with creme de banana, frangelico and blue Curacao.

My favorite was the Caribbean Sunset. A beautiful concoction with fruit, a cherry, and a glass full of yummy things.



We finished the night with a classic Hemingway drink, Death on the Gulf Stream.


Well, actually, I finished with a Death on the Gulf Stream. Jared just finished.

Hobbit Hole

What is the hobbit hole?

When we were apartment hunting we came across a condo with an abnormally large closet with a slanted ceiling, with a strange little door leading to an enormous attic.


That closet has now become Jared's home office. The rules are simple, I don't complain about how messy it is, and he let me decorate the downstairs. I think I won.

Anyway, Jared spends inordinate amounts of time up there, and late at night he gets a little tired and grouchy. If you sneak upstairs and try to scare him he tends to be less than impressed. Well, one night he was so unimpressed with my AMAZING scare tactics that, given his reaction, he began to resemble Gollum.

Thus, the hobbit hole was born.

Birth

This is the first time I have ever blogged about anything. I tend to get annoyed with self absorbed people who treat the internet as a diary. This is the type of thinking that has permitted people to talk on the cell phones during movies about what is happening on the screen. Diarrhea of the keyboard can also be linked to the general decline of society as demonstrated by Los Angeles drivers.

So why am I blogging? I like the way the word hypocrite sounds.

Besides, Jared has his own blog, so I want one too (yes, middle child syndrome at its best).